Why This Bridal Beauty Expert Says Premarital Counseling Is More Important Than Perfect Wedding Hair

Getting engaged should feel like pure bliss, right? But if you're like most brides, the reality includes equal parts excitement and overwhelm. Between venue hunting, vendor selection, and family dynamics, wedding planning can strain even the strongest relationships. That's exactly why I was so excited to sit down with Brittany Lo on this week's episode of The Pre Nup podcast.

Brittany is the CEO of Butini, an award-winning international wedding hair and makeup company, founder of the skincare brand Baya (which you've probably seen in Neiman Marcus), and a newly engaged bride herself. But what struck me most about our conversation wasn't her beauty expertise or her dreamy Parisian proposal—it was her refreshingly honest take on why she and her fiancé Corey prioritized couples therapy over wedding planning details. As someone who works with brides daily, her perspective on relationship preparation versus wedding preparation is something every engaged couple needs to hear.

The Case for Couples Counseling Before You Say "I Do"

When I asked Brittany about premarital counseling, her response was immediate: "It was honestly the best." But what surprised me was when she shared that it was actually Corey who initiated the conversation. As she explained, "His parents are divorced and he's like, I want to commit to you being the best husband I can be, but I don't know what that looks like."

This mindset shift is crucial. We invest in coaches and mentors for our careers, so why wouldn't we do the same for our relationships? According to research from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, couples who participate in premarital counseling have a 30% higher success rate in marriage.

Brittany and Corey's therapy sessions focus on understanding how their different upbringings shape their perspectives. "Two individuals grown up in completely different childhoods... when you think about therapy as individuals, so much of our belief system stems from when we were a child," she explained. Having a neutral third party helps them navigate these differences without saying things they can't take back.

The stigma around couples therapy often suggests there's something wrong with the relationship. But as Brittany pointed out, they're actually "learning conflict resolution before the conflict even arises." They even schedule date nights after their therapy sessions, turning what some might see as "work" into quality time together.

Strategic Wedding Planning: The Art of the Soft Hold

One of the most practical pieces of advice from our conversation was Brittany's approach to "pre-engagement" planning. She and Corey started looking at venues before getting officially engaged—a move that gave them a significant advantage in the competitive wedding market.

"If you know that you're going to get engaged, why not?" Brittany asked. This strategic approach allowed them to secure their dream venue, Glenmere Mansion in upstate New York, without the post-engagement scramble that leaves many couples settling for their third choice.

For couples in the "almost engaged" phase, consider calling venues to understand availability and pricing. You don't need to sign contracts, but getting a soft hold can be the difference between your dream wedding and whatever's available. Many venues are understanding about couples who need a few weeks to make it official.

Wedding Budget Reality Check: What Industry Professionals Know

Even as someone deeply embedded in the wedding industry, Brittany experienced sticker shock. "I was like, how many forks do people need, can't they just eat all off the same plate?" This honest admission from a wedding professional should reassure every bride that budget overwhelm is completely normal.

Her approach to budgeting was methodical: understand the big-ticket items (venue, food and beverage, planner, florals and design) before signing anything. For their blank-slate venue, this meant accounting for every fork, plate, and chair—costs that aren't immediately obvious but add up quickly.

The average cost of a Cape Cod wedding for 125 people is approximately $4,000 per person, according to recent industry data. While costs vary by region, this gives couples a realistic starting point for their planning conversations.

Brittany's advice? Pick three vendors or elements that are absolutely non-negotiable (for her and Corey, it's Shake Shack at their reception), then find areas to compromise. This prioritization prevents the decision paralysis that comes from trying to make everything perfect.

Managing Wedding Planning Stress While Running a Business

As the CEO of two companies, Brittany understands the challenge of adding wedding planning to an already packed schedule. Her solution? Embracing the ebb and flow of planning rather than maintaining constant momentum.

"Sometimes it's like, 'OK, let's get a bunch of stuff done,'" she shared, referencing a particularly productive week where they booked three vendors. "And have I done anything since? Absolutely not. And that's OK too."

This approach reduces the pressure that many brides put on themselves to be constantly productive. Wedding planning isn't a linear process, and accepting this reality can prevent burnout. Brittany also emphasized the importance of hiring vendors you trust, particularly a planner who can handle logistics and vendor communication, allowing you to focus on enjoying the process.

Her non-negotiable was having professional support on the wedding day itself. After witnessing brides become overwhelmed by vendor questions during hair and makeup, she decided that protecting her mental health was worth the investment in a day-of coordinator.

Beauty Prep: Enhancement vs. Transformation

Given Brittany's expertise in bridal beauty, I had to ask about pre-wedding beauty routines. Her philosophy? Enhancement over transformation. "Your partner is marrying you," she reminded me, pushing back against the pressure to become unrecognizable by the wedding day.

She advocates for starting a good skincare routine early—not just for the wedding, but as a lasting form of self-care. Working with professionals like dermatologists or nutritionists can be beneficial, but the goal should be feeling strong and healthy, not achieving an unrealistic standard of perfection.

For hair care specifically, Brittany recommends regular hair masks, limiting heat styling, using heat protectant products, and getting quarterly trims to prevent split ends. She's also been taking colostrum supplements, which she credits for improved hair growth, though she acknowledges it could be a combination of factors.

Key Takeaways

FAQ

Should we start couples therapy even if our relationship is good?

Yes, absolutely. Premarital counseling isn't about fixing problems—it's about building communication skills and understanding each other's backgrounds before conflicts arise. Think of it as relationship insurance rather than relationship repair.

When should we start looking at wedding venues?

If you're confident about getting engaged within the next 6 months, it's smart to start researching venues and understanding availability. You can place soft holds without signing contracts, giving you an advantage in competitive markets.

How much should we budget for our wedding?

Wedding costs vary dramatically by region, but current data shows around $4,000 per person for full-service celebrations in high-cost areas. Start by identifying your top 3 non-negotiable elements, then allocate your budget accordingly.

Is it worth hiring a wedding planner if we're organized people?

Consider your stress tolerance, available time, and the complexity of your venue. Even organized couples benefit from having someone handle vendor coordination on the wedding day itself, allowing you to focus on enjoying the celebration.

What beauty treatments should I avoid before my wedding?

Avoid trying new procedures or treatments close to your wedding date. Start any skincare routines or beauty treatments at least 3-6 months in advance, and always do trials of new products or services well ahead of time.

This post is based on an episode of The Pre Nup: A Wedding Planning Podcast. Follow us @the_pre_nup on Instagram and TikTok, and listen wherever you get your podcasts.