Caroline Crawford Patterson's Biggest Wedding Regret (And How to Avoid It)

Planning your dream wedding can feel overwhelming, especially when you're trying to avoid the mistakes that other brides have made. On this week's episode of The Pre Nup podcast, I sat down with content creator and bridal stylist Caroline Crawford Patterson to dive deep into her wedding planning journey — including the one decision she wishes she could change.

Caroline became internet famous for her gorgeous Charleston wedding at the iconic "Notebook house" and those viral bridesmaids boxes that had everyone swooning. But three years later, she has some honest insights about what really matters on your wedding day versus what just looks good on social media. Her biggest regret? Something that might surprise you, and it's a mistake I see brides making all the time.

Whether you're just starting to plan or you're deep in the details, Caroline's hard-won wisdom will help you prioritize what actually matters and avoid the wedding planning mistakes that could leave you with lasting regrets.

The Bridesmaids Box That Started It All (And Why Simple Still Wins)

Caroline's viral bridesmaids boxes were actually refreshingly simple compared to today's over-the-top proposals. Each box contained a Boy Smells candle matched to each friend's personality, fresh flowers, Ladurée macarons for her maids of honor, and most importantly — a handwritten letter on beautiful paper.

"My thing is always buy someone something they won't buy themselves," Caroline explains. "I would rather buy my friends a candle that's honestly expensive, so I'm not going to buy it myself, and then flowers. It should be about the ask and something creative that matches their personality, but it shouldn't be clutter."

The real magic wasn't in the price point or Instagram-worthiness — it was in the personalization and thoughtfulness. Caroline waited to ask most of her bridesmaids in person, taking them out individually to make the moment special. Years later, she sees her friends still using the candles as pencil holders and has their letters framed.

The lesson here: Your bridesmaids will remember the effort and personalization far more than expensive gifts. Focus on meaningful touches that reflect your friendship rather than trying to top what you see on social media.

Her Biggest Wedding Regret: No Videographer

Here's what might shock you: Caroline's biggest wedding regret isn't about decor, dress choices, or guest list drama. It's that she didn't hire a videographer — and her reasoning goes deeper than just wanting to rewatch her vows.

"I put in like two years to making this beautiful wedding so that all of my guests would have this wonderful experience, and I'm hearing all this chatter about how great it is while I'm in a different room somewhere locked away," she told me. "I would have loved the video to have this final delivery of here's what you did, here's how it came out, and here is footage of everybody really enjoying it."

She missed seeing John walk down the aisle because she was behind the church doors. She couldn't witness his mom's prayer or see her guests' reactions as they entered the reception. Photos capture moments, but they can't show the full experience or the energy of your celebration.

Caroline's minimum recommendation: Even if a full videographer isn't in budget, set up a camcorder in the back of your ceremony space. Assign someone the job of capturing video throughout the day. "People love jobs," she reminds us. "People want to be needed and wanted and feel like they can help."

Finding Your Perfect Venue (Even in Challenging Locations)

Caroline's venue search story is particularly relevant for modern brides who want to be thoughtful about their location choices. As a Charleston native, she struggled to find a large wedding venue that wasn't on a former plantation — a surprisingly difficult task that many planners weren't equipped to help with.

Her breakthrough came when she discovered the Eternal Father of the Sea Chapel and Admiral's House on a decommissioned Navy base. The property had been owned by the state since the 1800s and included both the chapel where she could have any officiant and a reception space with water views.

The key was being specific about her non-negotiables and doing her own research. When planners repeatedly recommended venues that didn't align with her values, Caroline realized she couldn't rely solely on vendor recommendations.

Pro tip: If you have specific venue requirements (whether related to history, accessibility, dietary restrictions, or budget), be crystal clear about your non-negotiables from the start. Don't assume vendors will understand the nuances of what you're looking for — do your own research and ask direct questions.

The Real Truth About Destination Wedding Weekends

Caroline's wedding weekend strategy is brilliant and completely replicable, whether you're planning a destination celebration or just want to maximize time with loved ones. Her approach centered on creating multiple opportunities for guests to connect with each other and the couple before the main event.

The Thursday night party (for a Saturday wedding) served several purposes: it gave out-of-town guests something special for their first night, allowed extended family to have quality time with the couple before wedding day chaos, and most importantly, let guests meet each other in a more intimate setting.

"The more opportunity that your guests have to meet each other, the less they'll bother the couple, the more fun they'll have throughout the weekend," Caroline explains. Plus, bridesmaids' and groomsmen's significant others — who weren't on bachelor/bachelorette trips — got a chance to find their people for the weekend.

Her Friday advice? Give people options but don't mandate group activities. Let guests explore or relax, especially if they won't have time to see the area after the wedding.

Working with a Bridal Stylist vs. Going Solo

As a bridal stylist herself (her company is called Le Lover), Caroline has strong opinions about wedding dress shopping strategy. The key isn't necessarily hiring a professional — it's choosing the right advocate to shop with you.

"Choose an advocate for yourself," she advises. "Think about all your friends and family members and be like, who is the person that I would feel the safest shopping with on a normal day? Who lets me shop the way that I shop with no pressure, no rush, but also knows what I like?"

Her recommended shopping strategy:


For involving important family members without the pressure: Bring them when your dress comes in for fittings. They get the special moment of seeing you in your wedding dress, but the decision is already made.

Key Takeaways

FAQ

What should I include in bridesmaids boxes that they'll actually use?

Focus on items your bridesmaids won't buy themselves, like a nice candle, fresh flowers, and a heartfelt handwritten letter. Caroline's boxes included Boy Smells candles matched to each friend's personality, flowers, and Ladurée macarons for maids of honor. Years later, her friends still use the candles and have the letters framed. Avoid clutter and prioritize personalization over price.

Is it worth hiring a wedding videographer if I'm on a tight budget?

Yes, even Caroline Crawford Patterson says this was her biggest wedding regret. At minimum, set up a camcorder at the back of your ceremony space and assign someone to capture key moments throughout the day. You'll want to see your guests' reactions, moments you missed while getting ready, and the overall energy of your celebration that photos can't capture.

How do I choose the right venue when I have specific requirements or restrictions?

Be crystal clear about your non-negotiables from the start and don't rely solely on vendor recommendations. Caroline struggled to find Charleston venues that weren't former plantations and had to do her own research when planners kept suggesting inappropriate options. Make a list of your must-haves and deal-breakers, then verify each venue meets your criteria through direct questions and independent research.

Who should I bring wedding dress shopping?

Bring only one "advocate" to your first appointment — someone who knows your style, lets you shop without pressure, and will honestly tell you what works. Save bringing the crowd for when you're deciding between 2-3 final options, or bring important family members when your dress arrives for fittings so they get the special moment without the pressure of decision-making.

How do I plan a destination wedding weekend that keeps guests happy?

Create multiple opportunities for guests to connect before the wedding day. Caroline recommends a Thursday night party for Saturday weddings, which helps out-of-town guests meet each other and gives extended family quality time with the couple. Keep Friday more flexible with optional activities, and consider that bridesmaids' and groomsmen's partners need opportunities to find their people for the weekend.

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This post is based on an episode of The Pre Nup: A Wedding Planning Podcast. Follow us @the_pre_nup on Instagram and TikTok, and listen wherever you get your podcasts.